Discussion: God Loves Truthful Worship

What Do You Think about Psalm?
What comes to your mind when you think of the Psalms? For me, prior to OTC, when I think of the Psalms, I see boring poems which did not even rhyme and they can be saying the same thing over and over, just in different ways.

God Desires a Genuine Relationship
But this week, as I prepare for CG discussion, I began to see how powerful Psalm can be. I began to see how it is possible to express how we sometimes feel, with genuineness and honestly, to God. As I read Don Moen's article on his song, "I Will Sing", I am reminded that indeed God knows us intimately, so why do we sometimes hold back our feelings and just keep to the "safe stuff" like thanksgiving and praises? He knows everything, He knows your disappointment and anger etc. Putting things into perspective, Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with God, so wouldn't God want to be in a genuine relationship with us where we can cry out to the Lord and express our deepest emotions to Him, just because He cares and He knows.

Psalm 62:8 (New International Version)
8. Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah

John 4:23 (New International Version)
23.Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.

My Realization
I have shared that throughout these few weeks as I took on cell leadership, I had been having struggles of my own and God has also been speaking to me in modules. It seems that whatever the sermon is on that week, I will be going through struggles in areas related to that topic. So these 2 weeks, while we were covering Psalm, I struggled with being angry with God. Deep inside me, I was crying out to God "God, you called me here but why are You letting all these happening to me?!" I was angry, I was annoyed, I was disappointed and just did not know how to go about it. I struggle because I mainly struggle with not having the confidence to lead word discussion and also with having to deal with being an introvert and interacting with people. I cried out to him several times but then things just sometimes remain the same.

I got angry and at FOP last Friday, I was ministered to by Don Moen's song, "I Will Sing". The opening words captured my heart and reflected how I felt. Then, sometime earlier this week, I was again "attacked" and again felt horrible. I began to feel very pressured. Then, God sent a series of events to minister to me and also people like colleagues and friends who affirmed me. Frankly, up till late afternoon today, I did not know how I was going to conduct cell. I was angry, I was lost, I felt horrible. My colleague passed me an article titled "Take Courage: You Build More Than You See" and nicely also highlighted a specific part for me to read. Frankly, as I read through the article, there were several times I just went "Ya right! If this is the case, why are You Lord allowing this to happen to me?!" But then the amazing thing was that, by the end of the article, I was refreshed by the God's word, which says in Haggai 2:1-9:

1 On the twenty-first day of the seventh month, the word of the LORD came through the prophet Haggai: 2 "Speak to Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, to Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and to the remnant of the people. Ask them, 3 'Who of you is left who saw this house in its former glory? How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you like nothing? 4 But now be strong, O Zerubbabel,' declares the LORD. 'Be strong, O Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land,' declares the LORD, 'and work. For I am with you,' declares the LORD Almighty. 5 'This is what I covenanted with you when you came out of Egypt. And my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear.'

6 "This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. 7 I will shake all nations, and the desired of all nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory,' says the LORD Almighty. 8 'The silver is mine and the gold is mine,' declares the LORD Almighty. 9 'The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the LORD Almighty. 'And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the LORD Almighty."

God's Reminder
In short, the article was suggesting that two arguments were presented in Haggai to motivate the people rebuilding the temple to say remind them to fear not for God is with them and that despite it seems that what they are building now is nothing, God will bless and bring glory to the temple. It was as if a reminder from God that whatever we do, He can bless it no matter how paltry it seems now, but only we continue to work with Him. I continued to be ministered to by the Lord as I made my way to cell meeting and I thank God that He blessed the session. Today's session was one of the very rare times I did not have to worry about what to say because things just came out naturally. And I can really feel Him blessing it. This week has made me realised how important it is to be honest with God in our hurts, disappointments, anger etc because He already knows. He can only deal with us as honest as we are with Him, just as how the Psalmist were sometimes so frank in their writings and "dealings" with the Lord.

Then came the other question, what keeps us from being honest with God? Some suggest it is because we have not reached the point of frustration as yet (and maybe do not want to "bother" God), some suggest this has been so since the time of Adam and Eve when they hid from God after eating the forbidden fruit, while some say that some of us have a certain perception on how a good Christian should not challenge God, so we keep all the "bad feelings" away. But also, it seems that we need to, at the end of the day, recognise how we view our Heavenly Father. A distant and most high God or one who knows us intimately and would like a relationship with us? Well, in my opinion, God can be both.