All the Way my Savior Leads Me
All the way my Savior leads me
Who have I to ask beside
How could I doubt His tender mercy
Who through life has been my guide
All the way my Savior leads me
Cheers each winding path I tread
Gives me grace for every trial
Feeds me with the living Bread
You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me
All the way my Savior leads me
O, the fullness of His love
O, the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood
And when my spirit clothed immortal
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages
Jesus led me all the way
Jesus led me all the way
All the way my Savior leads me
All the way my Savior leads me
"I Can No Longer Trust in You Lord" ~ Me
This very song, ministered to my heart last Sunday as we worshipped in church. I had been praying to the Lord for something which has been close to my heart but I was coming to a stage where I can no longer trust the Lord. I remember that as the worship leader led us in worship and sang the very words "I will trust in you", asking us to put our hands on our hearts, I just could not do it and I could not mouth these very words...Have you ever felt this way and felt that no matter what happens, you just seem to lose faith and in what God is doing in your life?
"Remember how I have walked with you?" ~ The Lord
It was until this song that came up that the Lord was prompting me gently that He has been there with me all the time and He has guided me through to where I am. And true enough, there had been such changes and miracles in my life, so much so I know it is not from man but from God. From how He has brought me back, to how He had placed people around me, helped me overcome my severe inferior complex, brought me a partner, helped and led me in ministry, healed and restored me from a hurt I had years ago, all these within a short span of 5 years, it just had to be God. And how could I doubt Him? And frankly, as the lyrics expresses it well "who have I to ask beside?". This is one such time when the praise and worship session was already enough to minister to me, even before sermon. And of course, by the time the sermon came and it was a hammer to the nail's head as I am reminded again that the Lord is my Shepherd and He cares for us and knows what is best for us; more than we know what is good for us.
The Life of Fanny Crosby
And the Lord continued to speak into my heart throughout the week, even as I prepared for cell. I later come to know that the hymn, from which this song has been adapted from, was written by a God fearing lady Fanny Crosby. She had, in her lifetime, written over 8000 Christian hymns, despite her handicap that she had to struggle with during her life. Fanny had lost her sight from the age of six week after a botched medical procedure by an inept doctor, which left her blind from henceforth. Imagine losing your sight and not knowing what this world is like. But yet, God used her and she wrote many wonderful hymns including "All the Way my Savior Leads Me" and "Blessed Assurance".
This beloved hymn came to Fanny as a result of a prayer. Struggling financially, she desperately needed some money. As her usual custom, Fanny began to pray. A few minutes later, a gentleman offered her five dollars, the exact amount she needed. Later recalling the incident, she said, “I have no way of accounting for this except to believe that God put it into the heart of this good man to bring the money.” The poem she wrote afterward became “All The Way My Savior Leads Me.”
She later said, “ If perfect earthly sight were offered me tomorrow I would not accept it. I might not have sung hymns to the praise of God if I had been distracted by the beautiful and interesting things about me.”
Speaking about trusting in the Lord. Fanny's example humbled me.
The Sudden Promotion of Glory of The Salvation Army's Territorial Commander
It's interesting how as Elder Freddy was preaching on Psalm 23, a psalm that one would usually see at funerals (and some would also associate with funerals), my whole week has come to be dominated by the sudden departure of one of our beloved leaders in The Salvation Army. And even as we go through a heart-wrenching week, coping emotionally with the sudden promotion to glory of our late Territorial Commander, God continued to minister to me and prepared me for cell.
It had been a difficult week as many of us struggled to come to terms with the sudden death because the weekend before, we had a carnival and our commander was amidst us, having fun with us and taking photos. His wife has also remarked how he had such great fun, going around to just be around our staff as we raised funds to bless our counterpart's work in Myanmar. And on Sunday evening, he had a simple dinner fellowship with all the heads of departments and officers, just hours before his departure.
Thanking God for His Grace
Then on Monday morning, we were told that he had gone home to be with the Lord. As we slowed down from all the funeral arrangements on Friday, I remember sitting down with my colleague and we both remarked how we really thank God for his life; how it had been a blessing to many. We thank God for how He had taken him home without prolonged pain and agony. We thank God for His grace in allowing us to have our last "farewell", so as to speak, with the commander on Saturday and also for the heads and officers to have their's on Sunday.
Trusting in God
But what was more heart-wrenching was even seeing our commander's wife, having to deal with the whole incident. They had been a loving couple who have served the Lord for over 40 years now and have just travelled to Singapore barely 3 years ago to serve their last leg before his retirement in June this year. I could imagine the shock and grief of losing someone you love in such a manner. But what really amazed me was her strength and calmness through it all, even in the midst of this when the icelandic volcano eruptions have grounded flights, making it impossible for her family to come and be with her and also for her and the body to be flown back to UK.
Reflecting on it, I would have broken down long ago. But what was amazing was how this humble lady had calmly addressed us at the funeral, thanking God for a good companion, confidante and father who shared 45 years of life together. And something she had said became deeply entrenched in my heart... "I don''t understand why but I know and trust that it's God's will and therefore I know that this is God's timing for him to be called home". And it was not her strength which has spoken to me but the peace I sensed, genuine peace, which demonstrated to me how she has really trusted the Lord even through this circumstance. And thank God because halfway through the wake service, we received news that Singapore Airlines has managed to secure places for our late commander, his wife and an accompanying officer for them to travel back to UK to be with their family.
Light Amidst Darkness
So while it was an emotion-filled week, it was also a positive week where God shined through... I like what Lydia shared during cell yesterday of her revelation from Psalm 23:4...
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
... that with every shadow, there is light. And so even amidst all the negativity, something positive came out for me too as I saw God at work.
"I shall not be in want"
But God did not stop there and continue to speak to me, both to me as a child and I also believe to all in the cell. Throughout the week, God continued to speak to me on this theme of Psalm 23:1 "The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want." Through my quiet time throughout the week, God brought me to various passages everyday and spoke about being contented in Him and keeping kingdom perspective. Many a times, we get so caught up with our perspective of things of the world, we lose sight of things of God.
In quiet time yesterday, I read from Mark 8:33 when Jesus rebuked Peter after he rebuke Jesus for speaking about what is to happen to himself; rejected, killed and that He will rise again after 3 days. And Jesus spoke these words "You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men". God later sent a colleague to come to me with a verse from Matthew 6:19-21:
Matthew 6:19-21
19. "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
It is true that after so much have happened this week, I have come to realise that anything can happen anytime. We can plan all we want, just as my commander and his wife has planned to retire and return to UK in June to be with their family. But ultimately, we do not know what's going to happen next. And this fact that we may go home to be with the Lord anytime became even more real as I was working to "close the emotional chapter" on the demise of my late commander, only to come to hear of another case of the son of a another, barely 30 years old, found suddenly dead in his room.
As the Psalmist wrote, "the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want". Do you truly believe in this verse and that the Lord knows what you need? Do you trust the Lord? As I reflect upon my episode on Sunday when I told God I can no longer trust in Him, I come to realise that the loss of faith and trust came not as a result that God is unfaithful etc. Someone at the funeral had mentioned that God is too wise and righteous to be wrong, too faithful to be unfaithful. But it lies with our contentment in the Lord and many a times how we have desired what the Lord has not intended for and yet feel annoyed, frustrated and angry with the Lord. The Lord ask us to keep our kingdom perspective of eternity and to trust in Him that He is the Almighty God. There are many things that we may not understand but He is always there in control and He has His plans for you.
Jeremiah 29:11-13
11. For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Psalm 91: 1-2, 4, 14-15
1. He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
4. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
14. "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
Isaiah 55:8-9
8. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
9. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
9. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
The Lord Holds You and Your Life
Even as I read from Ruth today, I am reminded about Naomi and the Lord's hand upon her and her life. She had lost both her husband and sons and was bitter, not knowing that the Lord has His plans for her.
Ruth 1:20-21
"Don't call me Naomi (meaning pleasant)," she told them. "Call me Mara (meaning bitter), because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. 21. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me".
But little does she knows that Ruth would be a blessing to her, as they seek to survive, and will also be the blessed line where the Messiah Jesus would ultimately come from.
Ruth 2:17-18
So Ruth gleaned in the field until evening. Then she threshed the barley she had gathered, and it amounted to about an ephah. She carried it back to town, and her mother-in-law saw how much she had gathered. Ruth also brought out and gave her what she had left over after she had eaten enough.
Yet Another Lesson in Trusting in the Lord
In fact, just another interesting point to note: I had initially been in a frenzy because God has spoken to me so clearly and so much throughout the week, I was approaching cell not knowing how to proceed, lest it becomes a very heavy session with all the scriptures and thoughts. I was in a frenzy because I had not known how to organise and bring across what God has spoken to me. For a moment, I had not trusted God, until a colleague came to me with Isaiah 50:4:
Isaiah 50:4
The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.
And as I reflect on last night and how God has given me to word and the prompting to speak the words, I thank Him and look back wondering why I had not trusted Him that He will be guiding the session. I thank God for that and for everyone of you who served and shared in love and edification. Thank you again.
In closing, I just want to encourage you with something from my devotion this week:
Psalm 91: 1-2, 4
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."... He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
Ruth 2:12b
...May you be richly rewarded by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.
