The Parable of the Pencil (Adapted)

Hi everyone,

Was in chapel today and heard about the Parable of the Pencil. 

I adapted it and hope the below will bless you as it has blessed me:

The Parable of the Pencil

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting it into the box.

"There are 7 things you need to know..." he told the pencil, "...before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be."

"One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand."
 

"Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil."

"Three: The most important part of you will always be what's inside."
 

"Four: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make."

"Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write."

"Six: Use your ability to erase appropriately, help others to correct mistakes and not to run them down and negate their mark."

"And finally Seven: You need to work alongside other pencils to see beautiful things achieved. There are times when a darker shade of pencil needs to be used and there are times when a lighter shade is essential."

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.
Now, replace the pencil with YOU. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess. 

John 15:4 (NIV, 1984) "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various challenges in life, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

James 1:2,3,4 (NIV, 1984) "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Three: The most important part of you will always be what's inside. For some of us, we operate out of broken lead inside and no matter how much we sharpen, the tip will always come out broken and break. If you inside is broken, it's time for you to receive God's lead.

1 Samuel 16:7b (NIV, 1984) "The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Luke 6: 45 (NIV, 1984) "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."

Ezekiel 26:36 (NIV, 1984) "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

Four: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

The bible is full of imperfect people who makes mistakes. The difference is that they did not let them stop them from growing: David, Peter, Moses, Abraham and the list goes on. 

Five: On every surface you walk, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to serve God in everything. 

Romans 12:11 (NIV, 1984) "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord."

Six: Use your ability to erase appropriately, help others to correct mistakes and not to run them down and negate their mark.

2 Peter 3:9 (NIV, 1984) "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV, 1984) "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

2 Timothy 2: 25-26 (NIV, 1984) "Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will."

And finally Seven: You need to work alongside other pencils to see beautiful things achieved. There are times when a darker shade of pencil needs to be used and there are times when a lighter shade is essential.

Romans 12:4-8 (NIV, 1984) "Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully."

By understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart and a relationship with God daily.

Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish. You can have a life with a meaningful purpose and a wonderful relationship with God everyday.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV,1984) "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 1:4-5a (NIV, 1984) "The word of the LORD came to me, saying,  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;"

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV, 1984) "For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil, it has no point.

We Are All in the Same Boat

Hi everyone, someone shared this devotion during chapel and thought of sharing it. Rather meaningful. Especially how we are all on the same boat and travelling towards the direction where God wants us to go...

Return the Call

Return the Call
Karen Ehman

"Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer."

Psalm 4:1 (NIV)

Devotion:
"Ughhh!" I sighed as the telephone rang that morning...again. My frustration mounted as I replayed my morning's activities thus far in my mind.

I'd already answered a phone call from church, one from my son's teacher and yet another one from my other son's coach. I'd chatted with my hairdresser and made an appointment with the dentist, among about a half-dozen more connections that had to be made by phone. And it wasn't even noon yet!

My mind pondered as my heart began to race. "When am I ever going to get to the bottom of my never-ending "to do" list?"

I glanced at my caller ID to see who it was this time. The number flashing on my phone was a familiar one; that of my father. He is a retiree who has a great love for his grandkids and lots of time on his hands. I reasoned, since his schedule isn't nearly as full as mine, that I could call him back later at a time more convenient for me. So I ignored his call and turned my attention to my list.

On it were many tasks; some noble, some mundane. Normal errands such as "Pick up bread and milk" "Return library books" or "Fill car up with gas." But there were important items too like call a relative who was struggling with depression and ask the neighbor next door, who'd just had surgery, if he'd like our family to mow his lawn. There were even kingdom-building, ministry activities; finish my Bible study lesson and pray for a friend's operation taking place later that day.

Yes, my day was full; full of people and purpose. Why then did I feel so empty?

My thoughts returned to the call from my father. How many times had I ignored his calls, reasoning that, since his life as a retiree wasn't packed with activity, I could easily chat with him at a later time? But the reality of my hectic schedule, along with other relationship commitments, often meant that connecting with my father took a nearly permanent place on the back burner of life.

He was waiting; I was ignoring. I refused to return his call. And our relationship was at risk of suffering because of it.

It isn't just earthy fathers that sometimes get ignored. How many times have we "ignored" our Heavenly Father because of our screaming schedule and earthly relationship demands? Even though our lives may be full of good and "God" things—duties at church, connections with people—oft times we are so busy serving God and loving it, that we don't make time to actually love the God that we serve.

Today's key verse paints a picture of our loving God who is never too busy to answer us when we call. And He not only hears and answers, He gives us relief from our distress—even the too-busy-for-my-own-good kind of distress. The problem in our connection lies with us. He is calling. We ignore. And then, we don't bother returning His call.

Thankfully, God never gets tired of hitting or answering a "redial." He is waiting and longing, as He always has been, to have a deep, intimate relationship connection with us; one that requires we make one simple switch: We put Him at the top of our "to do" and our "must call" lists.

He is willing to answer, if only we will call.

Dear Lord, forgive me for ignoring Your calls to come and connect with You, free from any distractions. I'm ready now. Speak. I'm listening. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Do You Know Him?

For more on this topic and a Jesus Calling basket giveaway, visit Karen's blog
Living Life on Purpose by Lysa TerKeurst
Rest Assured: Devotions for Souls in a Restless World by Nancy McGuirk

When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity! Your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. We wish we could, but we simply can't compete with prices offered by huge online warehouses. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you!

Application Steps:
When it comes to carving out time to spend with God, do you:

a. Consistently make it a high priority

b. Have great intentions of doing it but often get sidetracked by life

c. Fit it in when you feel like it or happen to "find time"

d. Don't really have any plan for connecting one-on-one with God

Take action this week to get God off the back burner and into the forefront of your life.

Reflections:
Have I ever scheduled an "appointment with God," just as I would with a business contact, doctor, or friend? How could that help me in my quest to grow in relationship Him?

Power Verses:
Psalm 91:14-16: "The Lord says, 'I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.'" (NLT)

The Love of a Father

Matthew 7:11 (NIV)

11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Luke 11:13 (NIV)

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

Judge Ye Not

Hi everyone,

A good reminder as we approach Good Friday that God died not just for you and me but for all...

At the cross as man crucified Him, Jesus said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.".

JUDGE YE NOT

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp--
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

'And why is everyone so quiet,
So somber - give me a clue.'
'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you.'

JUDGE NOT!!

Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a
Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

Every saint has a PAST...
Every sinner has a FUTURE!

As I was doing my QT this morning, I am reminded of Paul's heart for God's people. And we cannot doubt that it is people like him who has caught the heart of God and how ministered to the Gentiles, as well as many people who caught the heart of God, that we can be here as a child of God.

Romans 15: 20-21 (NIV)

It has always been my ambition to preach the gospel where Christ was not known, so that I would not be building on someone else's foundation. Rather, as it is written: "Those who were not told about him will see, and those who have not heard will understand."

The untold millions still untold.

~ James Lim

Devotion: How Can I Forgive?

This morning in devotion, me and my colleagues read the story of Corrie Ten Boom and shared about forgiveness. Some of you might be familiar with Corrie's story, a powerful true story and reminder about forgiveness.

Just as I read the article from Our Daily Bread, three words caught my attention "Jesus, help me!". Right at that point in time, God placed on my heart something which He wants me to be reminded and also to share - we can forgive with help from God.

For me, I had long been affected by a failed friendship 4 years back, which has scarred me, and affected how I relate with people. I started to be wary of people and could not trust people, afraid that they would hurt me. It was also that time that God brought me back into His community and I remember that whenever I share about the matter, either in cell or in office devotion, I would not fail to tear. Yes, the hurt was so deep I told myself I could not bring myself to forgive my friend. I became more and more bitter and started to hate the fact how this has scarred me to the extent I feared social interactions with people. It's not my fault that this has happened and has scarred me so much. Yes, I hear about forgiveness and know I am to forgive, for my own sake and as commanded by God. But how?!

Of course, God began a work in me and over the span of a few years, I can see his rehabilitative programme taking place, as I am being ministered through sermons, new life encounter, cell discussions and even by people God has brought into my life. Then, one day, I suddenly realised that my hatred for this friend has subsided that I could even pray for him. And in the last few days, I have even met up with him face-to-face, first time in many years, and was even able to sustain a genuine conversation with him without a tinge of hatred at all. But, it did not become clear to me until this morning during devotion and God made me realise how I have been brought from "bitter" to better. It hasn't been an easy road but God has not only restored me but also has helped me to forgive this friend of mine. And now, I am relatively more a confident person having left my baggage behind.

Why do you forgive? Because God commanded so. Colossians 3:13b reminds us "Forgive as the Lord forgave you". And just in case you forgot how God forgave us, look at Luke 23:34 where Jesus uttered the words "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Jesus forgave the people who crucified Him and humiliated Him. And He also forgave you and me, long before we were even born and said that we repent. This is the power of His love.

How do we forgive? With God. Just as Corrie mentioned "Jesus, help me!" and just as I have come to realise how God has helped me to forgive. He has the power to help you deal with your unforgiveness and bitterness too. Will you entrust it to Him and say "Jesus, help me!"

How Can I Forgive?
READ: Matthew 18:21-35
If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. —Matthew 6:15

Some of life’s hurts are so deep and painful that to forgive the people who caused them seems impossible. Yet Jesus says that we can’t experience His forgiveness if we have an unforgiving spirit.

In World War II, Corrie Ten Boom and her sister Betsie were arrested for concealing Jews and were sent to a German concentration camp. Betsie died a slow and terrible death as a result of the cruel treatment.

Then, in 1947, Corrie spoke about God’s forgiveness to a church in Munich. Afterward, a man sought her out. She recognized him as one of the guards who had mistreated her and Betsie. He told her that he had become a Christian, and with extended hand he asked for her forgiveness. Corrie struggled with her feelings, but when she recalled the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:15, she knew she had to forgive. She silently prayed, “Jesus, help me!” and thrust her hand into the hand of her former tormentor.

Someone has said, “Forgiveness is not a case of ‘holy amnesia’ that wipes out the past. Instead, it is the experience of healing that drains the poison from the wound.”

God asks us to do for others what He has done for us through Jesus Christ. He’ll give us strength to forgive.

— Dennis J. De Haan

Lord Jesus, give us grace each day
That we may follow in Your way,
Especially when some unloved soul
Needs our forgiving to be whole. —DJD

Since we all need forgiveness, we should always be forgiving.

It Is...

Hi morning!

I was ministered by today's Our Daily Bread. It reminds me that as we are sometimes overwhelmed by life with fear, worry, depression, disappointment, despair, Jesus can comfort us as He comforted His disciples in Matt 14:22-33.

Three particular “It is” statements can lead us through… “It is written” (Matt 4:4,7,10) can help us overcome temptations. “It is I” (Matt 14: 27) brings comfort in times of need. “It is finished” (John 19:30) speaks of His love and work to save and redeem us. Will you let Jesus speak into Your heart today? I did and I was comforted to know that it is Him.

He Is Enough

READ: Matthew 14:22-33

Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.” —Matthew 14:27

Sometimes we are overwhelmed by life. The crushing waves of disappointment, endless debt, debilitating illness, or trouble with people can cause hopelessness, depression, or despair. It happened to Jesus’ disciples. And it has happened to me.

Three statements by the Lord beginning with the words “It is . . .” offer us comfort, reassurance, and hope that Jesus is enough. The first is in Matthew 4 and is repeated three times: “It is written” (vv.4,7,10). In responding to the three temptations of Satan, Jesus gave us proof enough that the Word of God is true and overcomes the most powerful forms of temptation and pressure.

The second statement, “It is I” (Matt. 14:27), was spoken when Jesus told His terrified disciples that He Himself was presence enough to stop the howling storm and calm the raging seas.

Jesus spoke the third “It is” from the cross: “It is finished!” (John 19:30). He assured us that His death was provision enough to pay the debt for our sins and set us free.

Whatever our circumstances, Jesus is present with His love, compassion, and grace. He is proof, presence, and provision enough to carry us safely through. — David C. Egner

When trials overwhelm our souls
And tempt us to despair,
We need to reach out to the Lord
And trust His tender care. —Sper

God’s love does not keep us from trials; it helps us get through them.

1 John 4:13 (NIV)

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.

He has given us His Spirit ti guide us, remind us, empower us to walk with God.

Lessons from Naomi & Ruth

It's funny how I am ministered to by the book of Ruth again this morning at department devotion (see Our Daily Bread article below). But then again, the word of God does have power to speak to us and minister to us. And I continue to thank God for each and every one of my colleagues and the opportunity to come together week after week, even if it is for a few minutes, to share time together in devotion and coming before God to be ministered to and to minister. I am always ministered to by the sharing as it shows how real God is in each and everyone of our lives. I always believe that where God is, lives are touched and changed.

The Book of Ruth & Ministry
Earlier, I shared how the book of Ruth has a part to play in my ministry, when God spoke to me in church during the Peter Tsukahira seminar, moments before I communicated my decision to step down from ministry to our AO. God stirred my heart and assured me how He will never leave me and asked if I would leave His calling for me. As I look back, I can say that it hasn't been easy but then I can feel God walking with me every step of the way and it is really wonderful seeing Him so real in every aspect of my life, not just in ministry.

The Book of Ruth Speaks Again
Today, the book of Ruth spoke to me yet again, more than 1.5 years later; kind of like a reminder.

Lesson #1 - It showed me how despite the bitterness and how Naomi had cried out in her human spirit about the bitterness, she has never forsaken God. Similarly, sometimes in the midst of difficulty, it may be difficult seeing and understanding from God's perspective of things e.g. death of someone close, loss of things we hold dear to, difficulty, brokenness etc but we can know "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). We cannot explain trials because God can do so many things through it... it can be that God is refining us, it can be that God has other plans in place, it can be that we are receiving attack from the enemy and/or it can just be us paying the consequences of our sin, but we know that God is always there and will never forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). God has given us Immanuel (God with us) (Matthew 1:23) that we may have life and have it in abundance as we draw near to Him (John 10:10). A reminder how God has used the book of Ruth to minister to me about ministry and His calling. But I am glad to have stayed on in His calling and seeing that He has not forsaken me.

Lesson #2 and #3 - The other thing I have learned is how God is always in control. We see how Naomi, though having not done anything of epic proportions, has been used by God and became a spiritual impact for Ruth (Ruth subsequently became part of the genealogy of Christ, see Matthew 1). That is God's big picture of things. Recently, a friend and I was able to see how God was in control every step of the way despite difficult circumstances. I had prayed for wisdom to help in the situation and was amazed how things fell into place and how God had used me and led me through with words and verses. God is always in control and He will make a way. But even more than that, it also shows how in obedience, we also become a spiritual impact for others, no matter in big or small ways, God can work through us, as He works through Naomi and Ruth, despite Ruth being a Moabitess and not an Israelite.

Our Daily Bread
February 24, 2009
Managing The Mess
READ: Ruth 1:15-22
Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me? —Ruth 1:21

When we meet Naomi in the Scriptures, her life is a mess. She and her husband had gone to Moab searching for food during a famine. While in that land, their two sons married Moabite women, and life was good—until her husband and sons died and she was stuck, widowed in a foreign land.

Though honest about her pain, Naomi obviously had a sense of who was in control: “The Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me” (Ruth 1:21).

The Hebrew word for “Almighty” (Shaddai) indicates God’s sufficiency for any situation. The word “Lord” (Yahweh) refers to His faithfulness as the loving covenant-keeping God. I love how Naomi put these two names together. In the midst of her complaint, she never lost sight of the fact that her God was a capable and faithful God. And, sure enough, He proved His capability to deliver her and His faithfulness to care for her to the very end.

If there seems to be no way out of your despair, remember that Naomi’s God is your God as well. And He specializes in managing our messes to good and glorious outcomes. Thankfully, He is both capable and faithful. So, when your life is a mess, remember who your God is! — Joe Stowell

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last. —von Schlegel

Stand back and watch the Lord manage your mess into a glorious outcome.

Related Post: CG Discussion: Lessons from Naomi

What On Earth Am I Here For?

Today, we had department devotion and as we were going through Our Daily Bread today, it was interesting how the article sparked off quite a bit of reflection within me; I had thought that as Christians and having accepted the Lord, we should know who we are and where we are going. But the truth is that, we seem to need constant reminders and reflections:

Our Daily Bread
16 February 2009
Link: http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2009/02/16/devotion.aspx
1 John 3:1-9

The Answer

The story is told that the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer (1788–1860) was sauntering through Berlin’s famous Tiergarden one day, mentally probing the questions of origin and destiny that had been constantly perplexing him: Who am I? Where am I going?

A park-keeper, closely observing the shabbily dressed philosopher as he walked slowly with head bowed, suspected that Schopenhauer was a tramp. So he walked up to the philosopher and demanded, “Who are you? Where are you going?” With a pained expression, Schopenhauer replied, “I don’t know. I wish somebody could tell me.”

Are you ever perplexed by those same questions? Who am I? Where am I going? What a comfort it is to have God’s authoritative answers in the Bible. Who are we? In 1 John 3, John calls his readers “children of God” (v.2). We become His children by receiving Jesus as our Savior from sin (John 1:12). And where are we going? John 14:1-6 tells us that one day He will receive us into a home He is preparing in heaven.

Our Maker is not only the Author of science and history, but He writes the story of every member of Adam’s family—yours and mine. We can trust His answers. — Vernon C. Grounds

Open my ears, that I may hear
Voices of truth Thou sendest clear;
And while the wave-notes fall on my ear,
Everything false will disappear. —Scott

When you know Jesus, you know who you are and where you’re going.

It was a refreshing touch and reminder as I pondered about purpose of life once again. I have again come to realise, through all the discussion and even the sermon at the Chinese service last week, how God's heart is for relationship with us and to see us transformed and restored, not about robots or religion. He longs for everyone to come back to Him with a contrite, convicted and convinced heart, rather than it all being about just conversion.

So, as some will put it, God has placed eternity in our hearts; a God-shaped vaccuum that many of us tries to fill with things e.g. wealth, sex, glory, work, religiosity etc. Yet sometimes, it takes crises to help us see how these things are not eternal and things will change, but yet God's love will never change. For me, it has been work and achievements in the past which had fed the vaccum. Though it worked for many many years, I soon found myself all shocked and lost when these things started to fail me...

So, if you have yet to pondered about the purpose of life or needs a nudge, here's something which my colleague has found on the net and hope it will ministers:

What On Earth Am I Here For?

Suggested use: Answer the questions first for yourself, and then read and enjoy John Fischer’s comments.

Have you ever wondered about, or felt confused about, the purpose of your life?

Being confused about your purpose in life is not a bad thing. It is actually something that can awaken a desire to seek the truth about who we are and why we’re here.

One of the wisest men in history, King Solomon, who ruled the nation of Israel after his father, David, was confused about his purpose in life. He once wrote, “I, the Teacher, was king of Israel and I lived in Jerusalem. I devoted myself to search for understanding and to explore by wisdom everything being done in the world. I soon discovered that God has dealt a tragic existence to the human race. Everything under the sun is meaningless, like chasing the wind” (Ecclesiastes 1:12-15 NLT).

A lot of people are surprised to find out that such statements are in the Bible, and that God himself would be blamed as being responsible for our meaningless lives. But the key to Solomon’s observation is where he places the seat of this wisdom as being “under the sun.” Solomon is saying that if he looks at our human existence trapped on this planet and tries to explain it using human reason and accomplishments “under the sun,” that he can’t come to any better conclusion than life is meaningless.

It is hard—almost impossible—to explain the meaning of life without God, and that’s why everything starts here. God brings design and purpose to our existence. God has a plan that stretches beyond our history. God wants a relationship with us. That in itself gives us meaning. For whatever reason, Solomon wasn’t willing to go beyond what he could physically prove to look for answers to his questions

Every human being who has ever lived has had questions about his or her existence. It makes a big difference where you look for answers. You can’t really know much about meaning in life without being willing to admit that “beyond the sun”—or outside our human experience—is a Being with a design and a reason for all that we see and experience “under the sun.” You’ll need to at least be open to the possibility to move on in this study.

Here’s something to think about: Do you think it’s possible that God created us hungry for the very thing He wants to give us? He created us to seek Him? If so, wondering about your purpose could very well be the most important thing you could do. If this is true, then wondering about your purpose is the first step in finding it.

What ways have you tried to discover your life’s purpose that haven’t worked?

Have you ever wondered if a good deal of advertising appeals to the need we all have for purpose and meaning in life? Buy this car, drink this beer, go to this school, wear this make-up, purchase this insurance and you will have meaning in life. (…and for everything else, there’s MasterCard.)

The real truth about human nature never changes. Almost 400 years ago, Blaise Pascal, a brilliant French scientist and philosopher explained the dilemma of human existence as a God-shaped vacuum in the center of the human heart—a need for God that He placed there that won’t be satisfied by anything other than God Himself. In Pascal’s own words:

What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object—in other words, by God Himself.

Think of the things our culture lures us into using for our purpose: power, prestige, glory, sex, and wealth. The problem with these things is that there never seems to be enough. Even the people who have “arrived” aren’t happy the way we imagine them being. Meaninglessness is like a black hole at the center of human existence that sucks up whatever we throw at it, leaving it as empty as it was before. Even things that are supposed to be good seem to disappear in this deep cavern.

What have you thrown into the black hole of your existence that hasn’t filled it up? I think we all receive temporary satisfaction from some things, but what will really hold up over time?

Why do you think people try to discover their life’s purpose without turning to God, their creator?

Let’s think about some answers on this one:

- If I turned to God I might lose control of my life.

- God might take away all my fun.

- If there is a God, He’s definitely bigger than me and probably has some demands on my life.

- We always want to do things ourselves. Theme song: “I Did It My Way.”

- We want to be in control of our own destiny.

- We are afraid of God, we don’t know God, or we find God too mysterious.

- We think God’s idea of purpose is probably pretty religious and definitely boring.

- We like religion about as much as we like politics; we don’t want to get into a discussion about either one.

- We don’t believe in creation. We’ll have to find a purpose apart from a designed existence because that’s what we learned to believe.

But what if God were a kind, loving creator who made us like Himself because He wanted a relationship with us, and gave us the ability to choose Him or not because He didn’t want robots? What if He actually has our best interests in mind? Wouldn’t you want to check it out?

For Further Study

• Ephesians 1:3-14 God’s eternal plan for us.
• Ecclesiastes 12:1-14 Even Solomon made some difficult conclusions about God ’s place in our search for meaning.

Source: http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/en-US/AboutUs/AboutTheBook/sampleChapters/chapter1.htm

Have Been Thinking: One True God

I had recently led in devotion at my workplace and God had showed me how life can sometimes be like being at the airport... there are so many airlines but which will in fact bring you to where you need to be? Similarly, in life, we are surrounded by "religions", worldviews, new age beliefs and how do we know that we are worshipping the one true God? Maybe I will reserve sharing the devotion for another time.

While reading my devotion this week, I was brought to Acts 17:16-34. There, Paul was waiting in Athens and observes how the people were worshipping idols (Acts 17:16) and instead of condemning them, his passion for Christ compelled him to reason with the people to draw them to God (Acts 17:17) even though it meant ridiculed sometimes or not being understood (Acts 17:18). Paul had wanted to proclaim the one true God to them (Acts 17:22-23). He made his case:

The One True God is not limited by temples and only live in it (Acts 17:24)
Think about it. If God is all so mighty, why is He only limited to buildings? Psalm 139:7-8 reminds us that "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there."

The One True God does not need sacrifices to be appeased (Acts 17:25)
The verse says it all... God does not need to be served by human hands as if He needed anything. After all, does He not own the whole world and gives man life and breath? Hebrews 10 reminds us that "Sacrifices and offerings, burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not desire, nor were you pleased with them" (although the law required them to be made)" (Heb 10:8). It goes on to explain how "those sacrifices are an annual reminder of sins, because it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins" (Heb 10:3-4). The bible describes man as very forgetful, often forgetting who God is and how He had delivered them...

The One True God is not fashioned as an image or idol made by man (Acts 17:29)
God in the bible has commanded that He is to be revered and that man are not to bow down to any idols. Who has seen God and who can do justice to fashion Him with our thoughts of His image.

The One True God is not far from us and accepts us as His children (Acts 17:27-28)
God accepts us as His children, to bless and watch over... John 1:12-13 "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God." And man are being called children of God way in the Old Testament (Deuteronomy 14:1) and several times in the New Testament e.g. 1 John 3:1 "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" This is perhaps a very bold preposition.

The One True God is a loving God (Acts 17:30-31)
God is a loving God and Father and allows man to repent as 2 Peter 3:9 reminds "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."And He gives us choice to choose Him and gave us His son as an indication of His sacrifice Hebrews 10:10 "And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." And God calls out to all to be reconciled to Him. 2 Corinthians 5:17-21:

"17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

The One True God is in control (Acts 17:26)
God is always in control as He reminds in Isaiah 44:24 "This is what the LORD says—your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself..." and Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." But we are given a choice in life, just as Adam and Eve was given a choice and ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. God gives us the choice to choose to love Him or be apart from Him. He draws people to Him through those who are called by Him and who are willing to be a part of the ministry of reconciliation. But precisely how all these work together, I have no answer because Romans 11:33-34 reminds us "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! "Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?" A similar case is being put forth in Job 38-41.

And as a result of God's children going about with the "ministry of reconciliation", some come to become followers of Christ, while some has yet to (Acts 17:32-34).

Again, I thank God for giving me the wisdom to pen this down within this short hour... I pray He will bless your hearts with it.

Devotion: Another Chance

Hello everyone, sharing some notes I compiled from a staff devotion which we had recently :D hope it blesses you.

August 18, 2008 Another Chance READ: Philemon 1:8-19 [You] have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him. —Colossians 3:10

For almost 100 years, a huge piece of flawed Carrara marble lay in the courtyard of a cathedral in Florence, Italy. Then, in 1501, a young sculptor was asked to do something with it. He measured the block and noted its imperfections. In his mind, he envisioned a young shepherd boy. For 3 years, he chiseled and shaped the marble skillfully. Finally, when the 18-foot towering figure of David was unveiled, his student exclaimed to Michelangelo, “Master, it lacks only one thing—speech!” Onesimus was like that flawed marble. He was an unfaithful servant when he fled from his master Philemon. But while on the run he came to know the Master Sculptor. As a changed man, he served God faithfully and was invaluable to Paul’s ministry. When Paul sent him back to Philemon, he commended him as one “who once was unprofitable to you, but now is profitable to you and to me” (1:11). He asked Philemon to receive Onesimus back as a brother (v.16). Paul knew what it meant to be given another chance after past wrongs (Acts 9:26-28). He knew personally the transformation God can accomplish. Now he saw it in the life of Onesimus. The Lord can chisel His image on our flawed lives and make us beautiful and useful too. — Albert Lee Christ takes each sin, each pain, each loss, And by the power of His cross Transforms our brokenness and shame So that our lives exalt His name. —D. De Haan Our rough edges must be chipped away to bring out the image of Christ.

A Timely Message
For me, the passage seem like a timely reminder because the last weekend, my church celebrated its 17th anniversary but more significantly, it is also the 3rd anniversary of my coming back to Christ after 15 years of walking away from Him. 3 years ago, God has shown grace to me despite having backslided for a long time. But God has, in His time, paved the way and brought me people to bring me back walking with Him. So now, everytime the church celebrates its anniversary, I am reminded of His mercy and grace.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found..."

A Changed Person
The past 3 years had its many ups and downs. But then as I stood there at my church's celebration and as the song "Amazing Grace" was sang, I reflected and am reminded how so much has changed; about how He has helped me to deal with past hurts, called me to ministry, bless my hands and guided me in ministry, help me feel secure in Him (even during trials) and how He has also helped me slowly understand who He is and realises the power of His word as He continue to speak to me through it:

"...Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved...

...Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home. "

Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose." says Romans 8:28 (NIV).

I strongly believe that sometimes certain things happen for a reason, just as how God has used my experience and past trials in helping me understand people and minister to them. I am not sure about it but then reading from Philemon, it seems that it was for a purpose that the slave left Philemon; that he become saved? Because in verse 15-16 it mentioned "Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back for good— no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a man and as a brother in the Lord." So, Philemon's slave might become saved and became a "dear brother" and "a brother in the Lord".

Just like how God has Saul became king (1 Sam 9) and how subsequently David became king (1 Sam 16), I have come to realise how many many things have happened in my life for a reason. God has His purpose for things (though sometimes it seems so tough to endure):

Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV) "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV) There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven

Bearing the Wages of Wrong
As we discussed devotion today, I am reminded how I am likened to the rebellious slave in the book of Philemon, who ran away from his master. But he met Paul who later wrote a letter back to his friend Philemon to ask for him to accept his slave back and that

"if he [the slave] has done you [Philemon] any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me [Paul]" Philemon 1:18 (NIV)

To me, it was as Christ had did, taking on our sins onto the cross for our forgiveness. Romans 6:23 (NIV) reminds us that "the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord". Just as Paul as asked for forgiveness for Philemon's slave, so is Christ interceding for us:

"Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them." Hebrews 7:25 (NIV)

Blessed to Bless
And upon reflecting on my walk, God not only saves, forgives but also blesses us and work through us so as to bless many others...

For me, it was first a call back and then the call to minister to others.

Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Genesis 12:3 (NIV) speaks of the Abrahamic Covenant and about our call in also bringing people back to Him after the fall. "I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."

God has a purpose for everyone to ultimately play a part in reconciling more and bringing more into His kingdom. Be it through directly serving in ministry in church or through the marketplace, God has given each and everyone of us SHAPE(Spiritual Gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, Experiences). 1 Cor 12 speaks of how we are all different and each have its gift and that these gifts are given by God for the common good of building the body of Christ...

Romans 12:6 (NIV) "We have different gifts, according to the grace given us."
1 Cor 12:7 (NIV) "Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good."

So we do have SHAPE and a purpose in the kingdom of God. A purpose that does not stop at only God's people but for us as well, just as the sculptor, in today's devotional reading, envisioned a sculpture of a young shepherd boy, despite it being a huge piece of flawed marble. It became the renowed Michelangelo's sculpture of King David. (Picture: source)

What's the Response?
Interestingly, nothing much was mentioned about what happened in the end; what's the response of the master and importantly of the slave too. It really makes me wonder... did the slave change? Did he, in the end, become "useful" (Philemon 1:11)? What about the master? Did he exercise grace and accepted the slave back? What about us? Are we like the slave? Do we recognise that we can go back to God and that Jesus is interceding for us? God is calling, are you listening? Do we believe that we can be greater in God with His purpose and vision of us? Do we change to become better after the return? What about exercising grace? Is there anyone who we need to exercise grace, just as Paul has received grace from God (having been a Pharisee and persecuted Christians) and showing grace to the slave? What would you do if you are the master?

To me, this is a short, yet meaningful book on second chances, forgiveness and grace. It's a small book (just 1 page in the New Testament) that I would have missed but just as the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15, this is as Phyllis has put it, a more impactful book about returning to forgiveness.

Devotion on Patience

Hi everyone,

We recently covered the topic of patience at our department devotion, so thought of sharing it here for comments and discussion :)

God is often more patient with us than we are with ourselves. We assume that if we fall, we aren't born again. If we stumble, then we aren't truly converted. If we have the old desires, then we must not be a new creation.

If you are anxious about this, please remember, "God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again". (Phil. 1:6)

"We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts." Romans 5:3-5

"We have around us many people whose lives tell us what faith means. So let us run the race that is before us and never give up. We should remove from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back. Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect." Hebrews 12:1-2a

"My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need." James 1:2-4nds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need." James 1:2-4

Why does scripture says that we should have joy and be full of joy when we face trials?

• It is not saying that we should deny our negative feelings about trials and feel joyful that we have trials
  
• Difference lies in that we can have the assurance of Christ in us and in our lives, that He has His plans for us and will see us through

Why are there trials?

• I guess that is a question no one can answer but we can be certain that trials are part and parcel of life because we will (i) face trials when we go through the different stages in life and (ii) the devil do taunts you as well along the way, and/or (iii) sometimes we can be stubborn and refuse to "let go and let God", among many other reasons.
• But one thing about the scriptures is that it says "trials produced patience and patience produced character and character produces hope" (Romans 5:3-5)
• To me, the last 2 years of spiritual growth (ever since I have returned to the Lord from backsliding) had been most intense. Sometimes, I go through trials e.g. my trials in leading cell, and cry out to the Lord, not understanding why I am made to go through these trials. But upon reflecting, through the trials, I have learnt:
  • How God uses me and my experience to minister to others - Just like how He recently used my experience facing career crisis to minister to a sister-in-christ, who was going through a similar situation. Both of us placed our self-worth on our jobs rather on God. By the end of the session and sharing, we both come to recognise that we can choose to place our self-worth in people and jobs (which may fail us at times) or on God (who never fails)
  • How to rely on God - At times, maybe due to stubbornness, we refuse to "Let go and Let God" and it is through the various trials I faced these 2 years which have helped me to learn the hard way to rely on Christ and indeed, He never fails, just like how He is blessing my cell leadership now and I thank God for that
  • How God uses trials to build character, both for ourselves and for our ministry
  • How God is in control and has His plans for us: Jeremiah 29:11

How do we respond in times of trials?

• Trials are for certain here to stay but then the important thing is how do we respond to God when we face trials? Sometimes, we trust God and hold on, sometimes we start to doubt God, sometimes we lament to God, sometimes we lift up our fists to God etc
  
• But we have seen how God has sustained people and used people's trials for good e.g. Nick Vujicic and Joni Eareckson. I cannot imagine myself living their lives. In the words of Nick, "it is not as if one morning he woke up and have this confidence but it is a journey, it is character building". He had the willingness to let God use him to share the gospel
• So how do we we respond? Is it: Trials-Triumph (in Christ)-Testimony (of God's grace, faithfulness and work in your life)
• Do we beat ourselves up, despite having been saved, that we still stumble and sin? But we are reminded that we are work-in-progress and Phil 1:6 reminds us of that. But do we suffer from the, as Sy Rogers call it, "Dirty Diaper Syndrome"; when children mess up, some run away from parents (because maybe they fear being scolded) but all the parent want to do is clean you up (and maybe nag or scold a little).
  
  So when we mess up, do we run from or to God? Do we become so disappointed that we run away from God? If God can send Christ to die on the cross and forgive all who have yet to even ask for forgiveness, what more the power of coming before the cross, confessing our sins and repenting?
  
  Romans 5:5 reminds "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." He has and will continue to do so.

Psalm 37:23
23. If the LORD delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;

24. though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

Five Loaves and Two Fishes

This is the second time I come across the parable about the five loaves and two fishes this week. I was searching the web for ways to encourage a friend on but then in the end, found a song which somewhat spoke to me... Corrinne May's "Five Loaves and Two Fishes":

The Word of God proclaims in John 6:1-15:

Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand
1Some time after this, Jesus crossed to the far shore of the Sea of Galilee (that is, the Sea of Tiberias), 2and a great crowd of people followed him because they saw the miraculous signs he had performed on the sick. 3Then Jesus went up on a mountainside and sat down with his disciples. 4The Jewish Passover Feast was near.

5When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, "Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?" 6He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

7Philip answered him, "Eight months' wages[a] would not buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!"

8Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, spoke up, 9"Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?"

10Jesus said, "Have the people sit down." There was plenty of grass in that place, and the men sat down, about five thousand of them. 11Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

12When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, "Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted." 13So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.

14After the people saw the miraculous sign that Jesus did, they began to say, "Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world." 15Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.

As I listen to the song, I hear myself asking... what faith, what trust the boy had to offer what he had to the Lord, so others may be blessed. How about me?

A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small

Discussion: Love

OK, now I remember that I said that God speaks to me in modules and every week, whatever the sermon topic was on, so will what I have to deal with that week. So when this week's sermon was on Song of Songs, on love and relationship, I was really asking God "now what do you have in stalled for me." Anyway, I began to come to realization what God was trying to teach me this week, something on relationship. As I was thinking about how to cover the CG discussion today, I came across a little wooden tag that was given to me as a gift and on it, it said from Ephesians 5:1-2 that:

1. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2. and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

This very much sums up about love... God Himself love us so much He became flesh and died for our sins; his unfailing and faithful love is so wonderful and we are always reminded to love God with all our heart, our soul and our might and to love His people as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40), that being the greatest commandment. The music worship was great yesterday as we sang of God's love for us and so was ice-breaker as we penned down words of encouragement, affirmation and poem for one other person:

New Every Morning

Lord Your love is higher than the mountains

Lord Your love is deeper than the sea

Lord Your love is wider than the ocean

It's a steadfast love You have given me

Your love is new every morning

New every morning

Like the sun that rises from the east

Your love is new every morning

New every morning

I am grateful for Your love to me

It's Your grace that I can now draw nearer

It's Your blood that cleanses me from sin

It's Your peace that my heart rejoices within

It's Your love, a love no one could give

I Could Sing of Your Love Forever
Over the mountains and the sea
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart
And let the healer set me free

I'm happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing
Of when Your love came down

I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever

Oh I feel like dancing
It's foolishness I know
But when the world has seen the light
They will dance with joy like we're dancing now

For any relationship, love should be at the centre of it all. But how do we express that love? Anyway, here are the questions we used for the 5 Love Languages test we did yesterday and, in my opinion, our love language change with our life experiences and determines how we feel loved by others as well as express our love to others. So, it would be good to come back once in a while to understand our love language and also our loved ones' love language:

Click on the image for a larger version
Source: Virtuous Woman magazine (2005 Spring issue)

Gary Chapman, who wrote the book "Five Love Languages" briefly describes the different languages on his website as follows:

Words of Affirmation
Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.

Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

Quality Time
Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future. Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

Receiving Gifts
Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate.

The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things. Your body can become a very powerful physical symbol of love.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

Acts of Service
Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because the are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking to dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

Physical Touch
Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.

It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.

Source: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html

The 5 love languages help us to see how we can express love to others. But then, remembering that we are to love our neighbours as we love ourselves, how do we then develop a relationship with others? Through the discussion yesterday, we discussed a little and some speak of:

• Genuineness - I had shared yesterday how I had developed a very deep working relationship with this middle-age lady at my previous workplace. It was a wonderful working relationship though it started off rather rocky the first week, until we decided to sit down to talk about it. What happened in the end is that we agreed to be open with one another whenever we are upset with the other person. What followed was one and a half years of wonderful working relationship and she treated me like a son. In fact, the working relationship was so strong that when I was packing to go off on the last day of work, she laughed and joked that she felt I am not leaving but just going on long leave. As we pulled down the shutters for the last time together, she teared and seeing her tear made me tear too. To date, this is one of my most satisfying working relationship and it was only possible because both agreed to disagree and to sit down to talk about things whenever we are upset. We refused to let things snowball. There were of course times when still we had little conflicts but then we too took courage to apologise to one another when we felt something was wrong because we cherished the working relationship. Frankly, it was only her and me in that workplace so can you imagine the tension if there was any conflict :)
• Tough love - Sometimes, it is also essential to practice tough love when we see something not working right. We are reminded that tough love is still love and it should be done out of love and not out of resentment or to get back at someone. It is to help build each another up.
  
• Forgiveness - We need to sometimes also forgive people for their mistakes because if we do not, we carry with us baggages which not only will affect that relationship (because we will start to keep tabs of every wrong thing that person does against us) but also subsequently and possibly, relationship with others as well. I myself have faced this and has not learnt to let go. After a long chat with a friend yesterday at the airport, it has come to my realisation how my not letting go of a past hurt by a friend has impacted me in my relationship with others, so much so I became very introverted. I am continuing to pray for healing and will also take a step to address it at NLE.
• Acceptance - Someone shared that acceptance is also important because frankly, people can never be 100% similar. There are bound to be differences in the ways we live our lives mainly also because we all have different life experiences. It is a common analogy that people use to remind us that even on the first day of marriage, the way the husband squeezes toothpaste out might be different from that of the wife and this could even cause a conflict. Maybe, staying in focus about the love and not letting the little trivial stuff fret you maybe the key. Full acceptance and not resentful acceptance is important.

Of course, I gather there will be other ways as well so feel free to add on to the list :) The bible reminds us that we need to love others. We have talked about loving each other, but what about God? How do we develop a relationship with God? Maybe, if I can push it a little, God uses all the 5 languages...

• He speaks words of affirmation to you through people, circumstances, sermons, the bible, songs etc,
  
• He gave us the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ,
• Jesus also came to serve as a act of service,
  
• He also is willing to spend quality time with us if we would choose to spend quality time with Him and
  
• Finally, in my opinion, it is possible for Him to touch us too (though not in the conventional sense of the word) through the Holy Spirit.
  

But how are we developing our relationship with God? Feel free to contribute as well :)