The start of unforgiveness is usually anger and while anger is a feeling we will struggle with at times, we are reminded how we should deal with anger: love. I admit that it is not easy (because I struggle with it too). Here's a little summary of what we discussed and what I sensed from the Lord as we were discussing earlier:
(a) Recognise that you are loved by God
Christ has loved the world before we loved Him and has died on the cross for our sin, extending His love to us even before we have asked for it, so we may have life:
1 John 4:19 -
19. We love because he first loved us.
(b) Acknowledge your anger and not sin:
Genesis 4:6-7 -
6. Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7. If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
Ephesians 4: 26-27 -
26. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27. and do not give the devil a foothold.
The word of God says that when we are angry, sin is crouching at the door. So it is not so much whether we have anger but what we do about it: not sinning when we are angry and not letting the sun go down while we are still angry because it gives the devil a foothold to destroy relationships in the body of Christ.
(c) Extend love (because we are commanded to do so):
1 John 4:20-21 -
- 20. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
John 21: 15-17 -
- 15. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
16. Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
17. The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.
Matthew 22:37-40 -
- 37.Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38. This is the first and greatest commandment. 39. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
I was recently preparing for cell and reading John 21 on Jesus forgiving Peter (after Peter denied Christ 3 times) and how he has asked Peter 3 times if he love Jesus. But Jesus' answer interesting turns the focus onto His flock; His lambs and sheeps. It seems to be saying that If you love God, you will love His people. Just as Matthew 22:37-40 reminds us that the 10 commandments can be summarised into 2 greatest commandments (Commands 1-4 on loving God and Commands 5-10 on loving His people). Recognise that God wants us to love one another, despite how sometimes it can be so so difficult.
(d) Forgive Yourself
I have come to learn that sometimes we have feelings about feelings i.e. sometimes we feel anger over other people and yet feel horrible about our anger for that person. And sometimes, we can end up feeling horrible about ourselves. For me, there was a period of time I felt so disappointed with myself for constantly grieving God time after time I could not forgive myself. As a result, I felt unworthy of God and distant myself from Him. But recognise that God loves you and forgives you because He died for your sin. A heart of repentance is what He seeks and He forgives, so forgive yourself. Sy Rogers has once put it somewhat in this manner... God did not love you and die on the cross for you only to have you distancing yourself away from Him, He wants to draw you to Him and wash away your sins by bearing it for you.
A good example is that of Peter and Judas. In Matthew 26:69 - 27:5, we read about how Peter disowned Jesus 3 times and how Judas hung himself. Jesus subsequently forgives Peter in John 21 and Peter becomes the rock on which Christ built His church (Matt 16:18) but for Judas, he hung himself.
