God's Plan For Me

i would like to give thanks for my new working environment.

As i have share with some of you that i have resigned from tan tock seng hospital in May.and i was looking forward to my last day of work on 30th jun 07, friday 5pm sharp!

Amazingly, God changed my mind and i actually withdrew from my resignation on thursday 5pm! All these while (2years) i have been struggling in my career as a nurse. My life was full of ups and downs and i was feeling rather burnout and exhausted to a point that i felt that nursing does not suit me at all.I always ask why i m so bad luck, especially when i was working in the elderly ward setting when i first passed out as a new graduate staff nurse.

Many incidents and accidents will happen in my shift. Either my patient will collapse or one will have a fall or a patient will turn delirious (sun-down syndrome: behaving in an unusual manner and screaming), admissions from emergency department at my most occupied hour, my colleague suddenly don't feel well then need to take mc, doctors in bad-mood and screamed at me, call-bells start to ring endlessly, phone started ringing non-stop.....any many etc.(u can name any other things that u can think of and i should have experienced it)

I was always filled with anxiey and worries about my patients.and i felt very gulity when my patients passed away even though i have tried my very best. I was very disappointed with myself and became more and more discouraged everyday.

One day, i finally had a major break down and i took a week's break. i began to question myself about my purpose in life. All these while where is GOD? Why am i always so unlucky? Why ME?

God answered all my questions as i confess my doubts and sins before Him. God has always been with me but i have put him aside. Instead of partnering with God, i was trying to use man power whereby lots disappointments arised and many problems were impossible to be solved with man's power. But will only be possible if GOD is in the picture.

I eventually rewelcome God into my life.And now i understood that as a christian, it is not a bout attending church or cell regularly, but it is about putting faith and confidence in GOD and letting Him to be the CEO of my life and to worship Him in all things that i do everyday and every second of my Life.

Sorry, i side track abit back to my withdrewal of resignation. I always wanted to resign and get a job somewhere nearer because i always used to struggling to work especially during morning shifts and i hated the long travelling journey.And i think that Tan Tock Seng is really a busy hospital!

By God's grace, i was offered a distant study in bachelor of nursing at the singapore nurses association.I was really happy. And during one of our cell gathering, we did a test on our spirtitual giftings. I was even more afirm and rejoiced when i discovered that my strongest spirtual gifting is healing! Honestly, i was so happy and excited that night that i could not sleep and kept smiling and laughing with joy! (Sound like i've turned crazy?) =p

As my last day of my work was approaching nearer and nearer, i kept asking God if i really did made the right choice. God sent an angel which was my teacher to me on wed. She asked about where i be going after my resignation. And i told her honestly that most likely, i will take a month of vacation and then start to look out for a new job, nearer to my place. She asked if i m interested to withdraw my resignation. A question which has never struck my mind before.

I have always enjoyed nursing my patients especially when they are able to be dicharged home after getting well.I loved chatting with my patients.i didn't have any thing which i don't like about TTSH, just only the travel distance.As i recapped my thoughts, i remembered that i did actually spent most of my travelling time with God. I would either read the bible or i would listen to my MP3 and whorship God in my heart.And these periods of time, i have actually built a closer relationship with God. =)

Through the old testement challenge, reading of the bible, reading christian books, attending courses in church, having quiet time daily, i have began to understand GOD's purpose in my Life. I realized that he has wanted to strengthen my character and faith through all the challenges and trials. And God has wanted me to share my failures and msitakes with my c0-workers so that they will not make the same mistakes and learn what to do when they face the same type of situtaions or problems.I have learnt to put my confidence in Him and i am still learning to do so. I also understood that the timing of death of my patients is planned by God. I have to learn to let go and move on. I slowly understood that helping my patients to leave at their verge of dieing painlessly is better then trying to substain their life and allowing longer unbearable pain and suffering.

I want to thank God for giving me that inner peace and i know that i have tried my best and GOD IS WITH ME ALL THE TIME.I am glad that God has blessed me with many things and i am very joyful that GOD is using me as a blessing to others too =>

Therefore, I be working in TTSH still but i would be posted back to the ward setting as i began to miss bedside patient care while i was ( having my break) working in the clinic! I no longer feel fearful about facing each day's challenges and problems but getting ready to overcome each and every problem with GOD together!

Hallelujah!Praise GOD!He is our Lord God Almighty! Amen!